10 Secrets to New Year Resolution Success This Year

10 Secrets to Succeeding at New Year Resolutions:

Success at last.

If you apply these 10 secrets to your New Years Resolution or any other goals you will find greater success. Your results will be easier and longer lasting with out all the struggle and disappointment.

When your conscious and sub-conscious mind is aligned with the same goal success is natural.

1. Pick a resolution YOU really want. Make sure you are invested 100% in this goal. If you are doing it for your wife/husband, kids or boss you will find it more difficult. Motivation runs out fast when it is not really what YOU wanted in the first place.
2. Write it down and put it where you can see it with a date to accomplish the goal. Be realistic.
3. Break it down in little steps. Make it easy for yourself.
4. Create a positive affirmation stated in the future as if you have already accomplished it. An example would be: “ I weight 130lbs. I love exercising and my body is healthy and strong. I eat healthy meals and enjoy my food.” State this affirmation each day at least one time.
5. Consider using techniques that help you identify and release any resistance you might have in your sub-conscious mind to achieving your goal. When we fail at a goal that we really want we usually have some sub-conscious resistance to achieving the goal. An example might be: If you wanted to stop smoking on the conscious level but your sub-conscious mind wanted to hang onto the habit to manage stress in your life in a familiar way. If the sub-conscious was not brought on board with the goal then the change will not happen. Some techniques that can help change sub-conscious sabotage are: Hypnosis, Rapid Eye Technology & Emotional Freedom Techniques.
6. Reward yourself for any movement in the direction of your goal. Find something that you really want or enjoy and reward yourself with it when you hit big bench marks but remember to reward yourself daily with something smaller each day you move in the right direction.
7. If you slip backwards do not give up. Forgive yourself and ask yourself what might be blocking you and if you need to adjust your goal or change the date of accomplishment. Be realistic with yourself about what you can accomplish in the time given.
8. In list a friend or coach to help keep you on task and focused. There is safety in numbers. It is great if you have someone who is trying to accomplish the same goal that you can lean on in time of need. If you know someone is waiting for example at the gym to workout with you then you are a lot more likely to follow through. But you can choose someone who is not working toward the same goal but can be a good support in the way you need it. Make sure your personalities match with your motivation style. Do you need a gentle style or a more rigid style of motivation?
9. Determine how you are personally motivated. People are either motivated towards something positive or away from something negative. About 70% of us are motivated away from the negative. Find out how you are motivated and use that to your advantage. If you are motivated by positive then really make a big deal of the positive you will receive when you accomplish the goal. If you are motivated by negative then emphasize the negative. However as you move toward the positive rewards of the goal then start to switch your emphasis towards the rewards of the goal and away from the negative of not accomplishing the goal. An example would be if you wanted to lose weight the negative would be wanting to get away from the health problems and the way you look. But as you move closer to the goal start to focus more on how wonderful you are feeling and looking.
10. See yourself already there. Take 10 minutes each day to close your eyes and see your goal already achieved. Feel what it feels like to be successful. Involve all of your senses in this imagery. If your sub-conscious mind can see you there and feels good about it you will succeed.

Liesl Anderson C.H.t, RET, EFT

www.peacefromwithin.com

503-998-7775

The 7 Skills For Life. Taken from Rapid Eye Technology

"Skills for life are skills developed based on universal laws of principles by which all life is guided. Understanding these principles allows a person to create a higher quality of living.

1. The Principle of Thought

Thought is the beginning of all creation. WE create our own thoughts. We are free to think anything we want. The intent of thought is the primary mover of all creation. Change our thoughts and we will have a better chance in changing our lives. Energy follows thought - matter follows energy.


2. The Principle of Perception

Perception is how we understand our world based upon our experience and is filtered through our judgments. It is so for everyone, each person living in a world of his/her own perceptual creation. Most emotions stem from our perceptions. Comprehension of this principle dissolves conflict into understanding.


3. The Principle of Choice and Accountability

We choose how we feel about our experiences. The universe is always accountable to respond abundantly to our choices, giving us experience according to our choices. Choosing suggests the ability to choose again. We can choose to perceive differently and thus change our life experiences. Because of the responsibility the universe has to us, we are bound to the consequences of our choices. When we choose again how we feel about life, we change the consequence the universe delivers to us. Choice and accountability, as a unit, equates to the development of personal empowerment.


4. The Principle of Cause and Effect

What we think or do creates and returns again to us multiplied, offering us the opportunity to change our thinking or behavior. Since energy follows thought and mater follows energy, negative experiences will follow negative perceptions just a positive experiences will follow positive perceptions. Recognizing how this principle works helps us reclaim our power, changing the cause (our thinking) and the effect ( our experience).


5. The Principle of Abundance and Gratitude

Abundance means plenty, sufficient, overflowing, and is a manifestation of thought. The universe is set up to give us whatever we want in abundance. Therefore, what we feed (give energy to) will grow. Gratitude is a manifestation of abundance as well as giving us the power to change the form our abundance takes.


6. The Principle of Health and Healing

Health and healing is the process of becoming and maintaining a state of wholeness. We are responsible for our own physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health. As we incorporate all of these principles we understand what we require in order to enjoy this state of wholeness to its fullest.


7. The Principle of Harmony and Rhythm

All universal laws or principles work together in complete harmony. All life exists in a type of one song rhythm of tone presenting a musical vibration that creates perfect balance such as one might find in a symphony orchestra."

We when we study these principle and apply them to our lives our creation gains focus and strength. We are already creating that which is in our lives. Why not do it on purpose?

Curious About NLP?????

Lately I have been educating myself more in the technique of NLP. I finding it very fascinating and powerful in changing the automatic thoughts and responses in our unconscious mind. I have been receiving some free email from a website called www.modernjedi.com. It has some great videos on it and he sends you some email "lessons" along with it. I have not taken his training and have no benefit in recommending him just have really been enjoying what I have been learning from him. Simple to understand and apply. If you have been curious about NLP this is a good simple place to start. He is a little quirky..... however I find it charming. Hope you do to. :)
All 3 techniques that I use have at least a hint of NLP in them. However I was mostly just following those techniques and wanted to understand more about the technique that is interwoven in hypnosis, EFT and Rapid Eye.

Happy Holidays to everyone!

Blessings

I am sending out my gratitude for all the wonderful things in my life. For my wonderful family and friends as you are the meaning of life. Let us all take from Thanksgiving a commitment to be more aware for the next year of the good in our life. To consciously send our energy to the things we wish to experience with deep emotion and faith.
Blessing and light to all!
Happy Thanksgiving!

Optimism or Pessimism: Which one do you choose?

This blogs ideas will be taken from a book called Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Change Your Life. By Martin E. P. Seligman , Ph.D.
I highly recommend this book if you like deep clinical type books. It is taking me longer to read than most because it is so clinical. He does do a great job of bringing you in on it though.

Anyway on to the ideas.
It has been a great learning experience for me. I have always thought of myself as pretty optimistic however I have become aware of the pessimism I still hold onto in parts of my life.
In the book Dr Seligman talks about ways to identify whether you hold pessimistic view or optimistic. He has identified 3 different ways that we explain how things happen to us. By looking at these 3 different ways of explaining what happens to us we can identify whether we hold an optimistic or pessimistic view on life.
The 3 things he uses are:

1. Personalization
2. Pervasiveness
3. Permanence

The idea is that if when you explain why an event happened how you explain the why of the event you take the event personal ( I caused it), see it as global ( this ALWAYS happens) and/or it seems permanent to you then you are looking through the glasses of pessimism.
If you see it as caused by outside forces, as specific to that situation or as temporary then you are looking from an optimistic view.
Studies that Dr Seligman sited showed that pessimistic thinking eventually led to depression in people. His belief is that depression can be lessened by becoming conscious of our "explanatory style" and change it to be more optimistic.

EFT lends well to his theory so far. EFT can be used to release and let go of some of the beliefs he talks about in the book. If you find that you are frequently evaluating, either with others or with your self talk things as permanent, personal or global then it is time to change those thoughts to more positive thinking. I have found that the negative thoughts come from negative beliefs about your self that were started long before the present issue.
I will take a basic idea and show you how you could tap on the personal aspect:
This assumes you know the basic tapping of EFT.
If you want to learn more about EFT you can visit the link at the bottom of the post.

Starting on the Karate Chop Point:

Even though I feel like everything is my fault and blame myself, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though I was taught to blame myself for things that just happen, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though I have this habit of thinking I am bad when something bad happens, I deeply completely love and accept myself.

Eyebrow:
It must be my fault cause it happened to me
Side of eye:
I feel like most things are my fault
Under eye:
I must of done something wrong or something bad would not of happened
Under nose:
I was taught to blame myself
Under Mouth:
I feel guilty all the time
Collar bone:
I can't believe it is not my fault
Under arm:
It has to someones fault
Top head:
so it must be my fault

2nd round

Karate Chop:
I choose to begin to accept that not everything I feel guilty about is my fault
It may be possible that I have been taking more responsibility then I need to
I know someone taught me to blame myself but maybe that might not be the truth

Eye brow:
Yes it is important to take responsibility for what I do
Side of the eye:
But I don't need to blame myself for little things that just happen
Under Eye:
I can just learn from the experience without placing blame '
Under nose:
or taking on guilt
Under mouth:
I cannot possibly be completely responsible for every thing that happens to me.
Under Arm:
Other people may sometimes have responsibility for their actions that affect me
Top of head:
So I choose to 2nd guess whether I really was to blame or if I need to take responsibility for what happened.
Karate Chop:
I am letting go of the my blame and guilt pattern now!
Repeat this last phrase 3 times on Karate Chop.

Take 3 deep breaths preferably with your eyes closed and check in with how true it sounds that you are responsible for most everything that happens to you.
Repeat this tapping sequence as needed to relieve blame and guilt patterns.

You could do a similar sequence with the feeling of things being permanent.

Happy Tapping,
Liesl Anderson

To learn more about EFT Visit http://www.emofree.com

The Importance of Emotion

" Emotion is a very powerful creative force in this dimension. When you feel something emotionally, you will create a situation or condition to warrant it. The abundance of this universe is directed by emotion rather than by your ego. Emotion is thought forms that are felt. Energy follows that energy; and it does so in abundance. Perhaps this is why your affirmations might be in effective at times - you focus insufficient emotional energy on them or you negate them with "nots" or some other negating verbiage.
How do you feel about what you want in your life? How do you feel about what you do not want in your life? As you focus your energy on what you do want, with emotion , it will tend to manifest. "
Taken from Skills for Life Teachers Manual

By focusing on what you do not want in life you increase the chances of experiencing the negative thing you are trying to avoid.

You can use EFT to tap on the negative side of affirmations and reframe in positive wording and energy.

Here is an example of how to use EFT.

Tapping on Karate chop point repeat 3 times:
Even though I really don't want _____________________ to happen I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

Then tap on the body points repeating the main idea of what you don't want:

EB: I really really don't want _______________ to happen
SE: I am scared __________________ is going to happen
UE: I don't know what I would do if ___________________ happened
UN: I am doing everything I can to avoid ___________________ happening
Chin: I really am afraid _____________________ is going to happen
CB: I need to keep on guard and aware so that _________________________________ doesn't happen
UA: I need to avoid ___________________ at all cost
TH: I am focusing all my energy on ______________________ so it does not happen


Positive Reframe:
Karate chop point:
I choose now to see that by thinking about and creating feelings of fear about ______________________ happening I may be inviting it in through my energy
If I want ________________________ to not happen maybe I can think of the positive opposite of that and choose to focus on that.
If I wanted to avoid darkness in my life I would focus on creating light to relieve the darkness.

Tap on the body points as you repeat these reframes:
I choose to attract _____________________ ( positive opposite) into my life
I will do what I can to create ____________________ in my life
I am letting go of my need to focus on the negative side of what I want and don't want
I am understanding that by focusing with great emotion on light it will chase away the darkness in my life.

Tap on the body points while repeating these reframes as many times as you like.
Remember to put a lot of emotion into the tapping on both sides.. the releasing and reframing.
Sometimes it helps to picture in your mind the positive thing you wish to happen with a lot of details. To add sounds, sights, smells and touch help to make it more real to your mind and energy system.


You can learn more about EFT at: http://www.emofree.com

Would You Wear a Size 5 Shoe?

If someone you dearly loved gave you a size 5 shoe for a gift would you wear it even though you wore a size 8?
What a silly question right? Of course you would not squeeze your size 8 foot into a size 5 and wear that shoe around causing you great pain and discomfort. That would make no sense at all. You would likely just thank the person for their gift and inform them that you wore size 8 not 5. However what if they had the belief that every one wore size 5 and it was the right size to wear? How would you respond to that belief?
This is a funny thought. I was working with a client this morning in which this analogy came to me in relation to taking on family beliefs. Sometimes we take on and continue old family beliefs that are harming and hurting us just cause they were "given" to us from those we love and trust. Just like squeezing a size 8 foot into a size 5 shoe would cause us great pain and if done over and over again eventually would disform our foot, so do our old beliefs cause us pain and distort our beliefs and behaviours in life. It is healthy to review the beliefs our family has passed down and see if they are helping us in our lives and if they have any basis in reality or if they have become only self fulfilling prophecies in our family. One belief that comes up in families often is not to surpass you parents success. You need to keep your level of success close to your parents as to not show them up. This is one of those size 5 shoes that will keep your foot from growing as it is meant to be. It is self serving on the parents part to protect their ego and beliefs about themselves. They need to keep others down in order to make themselves feel better. They likely don't do it on purpose but will criticize or sabotage family members who look like they are about to surpass them in success. Their belief benefits them and no one else. If you find this pattern and belief in your family you can just acknowledge that it is on old size 5 shoe that does not fit your size 8 foot and discard it. If the family reacts to you challenging the belief you will know that it is just them not understanding that you have a size 8 foot. There is nothing wrong with what you are doing and eventually they will accept the change and allow the belief to be different. In fact possibly they will learn to be proud of your success and you will have shifted the belief for all family members to create success in the future.

There is an old saying:
" The best thing you can do for the poor is not be one of them"
I cannot remember the author I am sorry. But it is, I believe a true statement. Show them the way through your shedding of the old way of thinking and behaving and creating a successful present and future!

EFT and Rapid Eye are great techniques to help you shed and discard old family beliefs and traditions that are no longer helping but hurting you.

You can check out EFT at: http://www.emofree.com

Happy Fall Everyone!

Letting Go When it is Time

Today my blog will be more personal. My mind has been on the subject of letting go of those we love when it is there time to transition to whatever is next in life for them. Sometimes that transition is death. We have a 15yr old kitty that we just had to put down yesterday as she had a tumor in her body that was causing her to starve to death. Very sad. However a great lesson in life for my kids to learn to let go of something or someone when it is time. To learn to grieve and say goodbye knowing that life will go on and we can move through the grief process and grow and learn from the experience. My son said last night that he felt bad the times he did not want the kitty in his room when she was meowing at the door. He started to take the regret road but recovered quickly as that is a road of judgment and usually does not lead to learning, only blaming. The whole family is sad but practicing how to let go and grieve. Blessings to our wonderful kitty, Princess Jasmine! We love you and miss you!

The Language of Emotional Intelligence

I went on a book run at Barnes and Noble last week and picked up a few books to read and expand my understanding of myself and my clients.
The first one I started was on the topic of Emotional Intelligence. I have never read a book about EI but have heard a lot about it. I was done with it in less then 2 days. It just what I needed right now. Funny how that works. :) When we are better able to understand ourselves and others there is so much less judgement and pain. This book is great at helping us understand our own challenges and the challenges of others in the area of communication and EI.

Here are some of the concepts from the book:
If we did not learn to experience emotional intelligence as a child then we still can!
Our first experience learning how to get our needs met as an infant without words is how we are "suppose" to learn EI.
Learning to managing stress helps us to be more emotionally intelligent.
You can learn to sooth yourself in a healthy way and therefore making yourself more able to communicate in an EI way with others.
Our body language says so much more about what we feel than our words.
We need to be comfortable with your own emotions, good and bad, without getting overwhelmed by them, that is where the soothing skills comes in.
Without EI a relationship will experience many more pitfalls and pain then if the couple is able to create EI within themselves and bring it to the relationship.

That is just a short idea of what is in the book. The book provides exercises for improving your emotional intelligence.
The books title is: The Language of Emotional Intelligence
The Five Essential Tools for Building Powerful and Effective Relationships.
by Jeanne Segal, Ph.D

She also Authored Raising Your Emotional Intelligence
Which I have not read yet.

Happy Reading!

Harmony and Rhythm

"You are part of the universe, no less than the stars and trees, and you have a right to be here. And whether it is clear to you or not, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should...." Desiderata

We are part of the universe and our lives are governed by the same laws that govern the rest of the cosmos. We need to keep a balance as does the rest of nature. We take time to grow and time to heal. Our lives will always move in cycles because that is the universal law: We need time to rest and recuperate, as do all other living things.

Taken from RET Life Skills Manual

http://www.rapideyetechnology.com

The Swim Lesson

I was sitting at the pool a few weeks ago watching my kids swim lessons. While I was there I noticed a father and his daughter of about 6 or 7yrs old in the water. The father was trying to teach his panic stricken daughter how to swim. I noticed as they entered the water the panic on the young girls face. The father had put a life jacket on her and he knew that she was safe. However she did not know that at all! She was able to keep her panic under control as long as her dad was holding her. She trusted him to keep her safe as long as he was holding her. However as soon as he would start to let go she would panic and start crying and begging him not to let go of her even in the slightest bit. She had a life and death belief about the water. Water can kill you. The unknown is unsafe and so forth. Again her father knew she was completely safe but she did not know the same truth. I was stricken by how different their belief systems were about the water based on their life experience. As the father worked with this little girl over the next 30 minutes her belief radically changed. She ,through experience, learned that with the life jacket she would not sink and die. She could move about in the pool and even began to feel pride in her learning. She waved to her mother who was watching from the side feeling pride and excitement in her new experience. Her father was very patient and always kind while helping her stretch her belief about the water to a new experience that could possibly save her life one day.
I thought a lot about belief systems as I watched this display of belief systems and how they can be changed when faced with a new experience. How often are we willing to challenge our negative beliefs with a new experience? Most of the time we unconsciously actually create experiences that only support our beliefs. Her belief was that water was dangerous. Was she right? Of course she was. Many people drown every year for a variety of reasons. However one of the most common reasons is not knowing how to swim. So if she held onto her belief and never learned to swim was she really safer? Probably not. She would actually keep herself from learning that which might safe her life some day. So facing and changing her belief about water was the most beneficial thing for her to do.
I challenge all of us to pick a negative belief we have and challenge it with a new experience and see what happens. Does the belief begin to change and shift as new information enters the mind? Did what were afraid of happen really happen? And if it did was it as bad as we thought or was it much milder then we perceived it to be?
If you are having trouble even begin to create a new experience then consider using EFT to help you tap out the fear and create a more positive belief. Keep tapping till you start to feel the fear or resistance lessen so you can move forward and experience something different.
You can check out EFT at:
http://www.emofree.com

Focus On What You Want; Not What You Don't Want

You may not always get what you want in life but you almost always get what you expect.
I see this principle played out over and over again in my own life the lives of my clients. We want something different but can't get past the fear of what we think is really going to happen. When we are thinking about what we don't want we are so much more likely to experience it in life. And the more emotion there is behind the thing we don't want the more likely it is to manifest.

This principle is explained in "The Sedona Method" like this:

" Here's how this works. Perhaps we have an experience that we don't like (the boss yells at us), or something happens to a person we care about (a friend gets sick or has a car accident), or maybe we don't like the news we hear that day( the stock market takes a nose dive). Therefore, we want to change it. Either we think, "I hope this doesn't happen to me," or, "I hope this never happens again," which is where we get stuck. Since the mind sees and creates in pictures, it does not accurately translate negations- words like not, never, or don't. As a result, it interprets our hopes in reverse and sustains them.
If you don't believe me, try and right now to not picture a shoe. What happened? If you are like most people, you immediately saw a shoe in your mind's eye. The harder we try to not create what we do not want, the stronger we are holding on to the idea; thus, the more likely we are to create it in our reality. "

So make a choice right now to release the emotions you have feeding the negative beliefs and fears in your life and start to think more about what you really want with emotion. Maybe you could pick something small to start with and practice. Don't be scared to find out how powerful you can be in creating your own life.. you are already doing it now..your just learning how to do it on purpose!

Starting Your Day Out Right

As we try and focus on the positive in our lives it is helpful to start our morning out with some questions of awareness.

1. What am I happy about in my life right now?
2. What am I excited about in my life right now?
3. What am I proud of in my life right now?
4. What am I grateful about in my life right now?
5. What am committed to in my life right now?
6. What can I do today to improve my life?
7. How can I help another person today?

As we ponder on these questions while starting our day it helps to keep us in response and action instead of reaction to situations and people during our day. We keep focused about what we want to feed and improve in our lives so we choose according to those values and goals.

What state are you in right now?

I have been reading a book about the Sedona Method. The Sedona method has been used for over 30yrs to help people break negative emotional patterns in their lives. By using the method you learn to both identify and release emotional states that are not serving you. In fact it really is not about judging the emotions as good or bad but whether they are serving you or not. Are you emotions improving your life or hindering your progress?


In the book 9 emotional states are identified:

1. Apathy: Apathy is a state where we are unaware of our emotions or feelings. We have little if no energy to accept our situation and no hope of change in it.
2. Grief: In grief we want help but cannot see how we can get out of the situation or feelings on our own. We have a little more energy to address the issue but still very limited.
3. Fear: With fear we have more energy but our energy is not productive. We desire to "strike out" at those around us and our situation. However we not thinking very clearly so our efforts are not very effective in helping us. At times we can be paralyzed and take not actions yet still experience deep emotions.
4. Lust: When experiencing lust we want, want, want. We are focused almost completely inside our selves and are deeply aware of what we want and do not have. In lust you never feel satisfied. The grass is always greener on the other side.
5. Anger: In Anger our feelings and thoughts are about getting even and hurting those around us and sometimes ourselves. We have more action energy in anger but still not very productive in bringing happiness into our lives.
6. Pride: Pride leaves us with the need to be right. We are resistant to change or feedback and our energy is spent keeping our appearances up for ourselves and others. There very little energy to accept more effective ways of getting our needs met.
7: Courageousness: In Courageousness we feel good about ourselves and have started to believe we can accomplish our goals and desires. We are able to look at others and ourselves honestly and still feel good about life. We have a lot more energy and are able to channel it into constructive action.
8. Acceptance: When we experience acceptance we are truly are okay with everything the way it is in the moment. We let go of the need for change and live in the moment.
9. Peace: In peace life just is. Your energy is quite and calm. You are able to just truly be without any judgement or needs.. just being with yourself is the key to peace.

The Sedona Method teaches us how to identify and release the non-serving emotional states.

We ask ourselves 4 questions:
1. Could you allow yourself to welcome this feeling as best you can?
2. Could you allow yourself to let it go?
3. Would you let it go?
4. When?

Of course this is a simple over view of the method but I wanted to share as I feel it has enhanced my understanding of my own emotional states and combined with the other techniques I use can be a great help to me and my clients.
The book is called "The Sedona Method" and is written by Hale Dwoskin
I recommend you check it!

Some thoughts on Forgiveness from
"The Forgiveness Formula" by Kathleen Griffin

The Ten Golden Rules of Forgiveness:

1. Forgive and the whole landscape will change.
2. You are the only one who can change-those who have done you wrong have nothing to do with your forgiveness process.
3. You can only forgive when you are ready- it won't work until you are .
4. When you forgive and let go, you change and then the whole world is different.
5. There will always be someone else to forgive, so the better you get at it, the easier life will be.
6. When you forgive the big stuff, you will always have a scar on your heart: that way you won't forget.
7. Sitting on top of the mountain of being in the right is a very lonely place.
8. Think of people you know who can forgive. Now think of those who bear a grudge-which camp would you rather be in?
9. If you can learn to forgive yourself, you are more than halfway there.
10. It is never to late to forgive.


The forgiveness formula:

* It means completely letting go of the hurt this person has done you.
* It means letting go of the hold this narrative has had on your life.
* It means getting rid of a piece of garbage that you will no longer have to carry around with you.
* It does not mean forgetting what has been done to you.
* It does not mean that you do not learn lessons from what happened to you.


This is as inspiring book on how to let go of the pain that we tend to hold onto from trauma in our lives. Forgiveness of others and ourselves helps to lead us to a place of peace and happiness.

I highly recommend reading this book.

Happiness Is A Choice

"If we're unhappy, it's because life is not as we want it. Life is not matching our expectations or how it ought to be and so we're deluding ourselves.
Happiness is a choice. Many people live life as if someday they'll arrive at happiness like one arrives at a bus stop. They figure that someday everything will fall into place, they will finally be happy.
Being happy is not always easy. It can be one of the greatest challenges that we face and can sometimes take all the determination, persistence and self-discipline that we can muster. Maturity means taking responsibility for our own happiness and choosing to concentrate on what we have got rather than on what we haven't.
How often, though, do we do the opposite? How often do we ignore the compliments that are paid to us yet dwell on unkind words for weeks afterwards? If you allow a bad experience or nasty remark to occupy your mind, you will suffer the consequences. Remember, you are in control of your own mind.
Most people remember compliments for a few minutes and insults for years. They become garbage collectors, carrying around trash that was thrown at them twenty years ago. "
Life Skill Manual

I challenge you to shift your focus to the positive things and people that are in your life. Really begin to give energy with your thoughts, feelings and behaviours toward what is good in your life even if it is only one thing. As you give your power and energy to the positive you will notice a shift in your feelings and beliefs. You will begin to spontaneous experience more joy and happiness.

Praciting Mindfulness

Check out a great interview about practicing mindfulness in our day and age. See how mindfulness in related to long practiced meditation and weight loss.

https://www.abc.net.au/rn/healthreport/storied/2003/972729.htm

I really liked this article talking about weight loss and being mindful of your body signals and emotional triggers. In regards to weight loss I teach clients to be mindful of what their body and mind is telling them so they can learn the triggers that lead them to over eat. They can then release those triggers and beliefs so they can eat both healthier foods and portions without all the struggle.


Hope you enjoy!

Creating Balance In Your Life

We all need balance in our lives. If we put all our attention on only one or two things it leaves us lacking in many other areas. If we vary our activities and interest it helps to fulfill our many needs for achievement, recognition, creative expression, spiritual growth and emotional support. Then when one area is not go so well we can lean on the other parts.
Some of the areas we can develop in life are as follows:

Family and Friends.
We are naturally social animals. We need to feel connected and involved with other people. Having strong relationships helps to create an emotional buffer against hard times and stress.

Personal Time.
Everyone needs quite time alone. Time for yourself allows you to reflect on your relationships, your career path, your financial status, your health, and the overall direction of you life.It also allows you to just slow down and take a breath. But remember to have fun in personal time too.

Work
Work outside and inside the home provides a sense of productivity and achievement most people need to feel good about themselves. Participating in professional associations is one way to enhance the quality of you work.

Community Involvement
Pursuing a political cause or helping people with special needs allow you to give something back to the community. There are many ways to get involved in your community and helping others may have a unique payoff. It may help you put your own life in perspective.

Spiritual Involvement
Whether you define it as belief in a higher power, connection to the earth, or simply a moral consistency in what you think, feel and do, spirituality can provide a sense of meaning and purpose in your life beyond your own self. It also provides you with a sence of support outside of the physical world.

Fitness
Many forms of exercise can provide stress management benefits. It releases pleasure-producing hormones, strengthens and relaxes muscles and give you more energy. It can also improve the way you look and feel about yourself.

Food
Balanced meals provide the energy you need to meet the day's physical challenges. Eating a variety of healthy food such as protein, vegetables, fruits and grains helps both our body and mind function much better. Limit caffeine, a stimulant that increases the stress response, and sugar, whose quick energy fix backfires making you more tired and irritable. Eat small meals several times a day.

Pets Keep You In The Pink
They purr, sing, hop, dance, or wag their tails with uncontional joy. Pets can often be the saving grace in face of stress. In fact, they may even lower you blood pressure or decrease your number of doctor visits. They provide us with both emotional connection and a sense of purpose. The unconditional love they give cannot not be mimmicked by any other relationship.

Fun
Don't feel guilty about having fun. Just enjoy yourself. You can justify having fun for fun's sake. It doesn't matter what you choose for fun as long as you enjoy it. It might be puzzels, sports, crafts, cooking, writing or any other acitivity you like to spend time doing. Give yourself permission to just let go and have fun. Bringing humor into stressfull times can also help to balance out your life. Lighten things up and you will feel lighter.

I hope that some of these suggestions will help you to find better balance in your life. Play with some new ideas and activities and see where it might take you.

Men and Women are that they might have joy and happiness.


Adapted from Rapid Eye Technology Life Skills Manual.

Criticsm

"Perception and Criticism

We are on our life's journey. It is unnecessary to reuse and regenerate old lessons or thoughts and perceptions. We can create new tools that serve us better.
If we call ourselves negative things, our mind and body will honor that. It will send the signal out through our bodies to create what we have thought and said. If we want positive to expand in our lives, we must speak it, think it and act it.
We can choose to stay focused on what we are for, or what we are against. It is impossible to teach by criticism because criticism focuses on what is not or areas that are lacking. Only by love, firmness, acceptance, and seeing the good in others can we see the good in ourselves.
Consider for a moment that we are already perfect, just as we were created. We must do nothing more to become so . What we require, however, is to become aware of our perfection. This is a matter of a perception change, or, in other words, a paradigm shift to viewing things in a different way than perhaps we have ever done before.
It's fun to practice and see our perfection. Each time we overcome, release and forgive, we become stronger and improve our ability to imagine ourselves as perfect and joyful. It is our birthright as humans to be joyful.
If we wish to grow and heal, it means self transformation will happened on all four levels: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. Choosing to rid ourselves of our obsolete conditioning is the first step.
Desire is the first and most important ingredient to healing. People who really want growth and freedom from pain come into a RET session eager to let the past go. They make their growth and healing a priority. What is put into this effort come back compounded.
Once we have experienced growth we will discover that we are unwilling and unable to go back. We will continue the process of broadening perceptions, and eventually perceive beyond our normal sensory parameters. "

"We can greatly facilitate our own growth by avoiding attachments to our flawed perceptions and letting go of addictive behaviours based upon those perceptions.
By quieting the mind we can emancipate ourselves from our habits. People often perceive this to difficult to remain in our painful habits once we rid ourselves of our conditioning because positive , whole, unconditional love is our natural, spiritual state. "
Taken from the RET Life Skills Manual.

" Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what a man does with what happens to him" Aldous Huxley

Cause And Effect

"Newton discovered the law of cause and effect: in other words that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. We only get back if we put out. If we plant tomatoes, we don't reap thistles. It is important to remind ourselves that this principle affects everything we do, every experience we have.
We can't beat the law. Our physical health, our mental health, our business success and our personal relationships are each governed by the same equation which requires us to "pay up front". The fascinating thing about the law is that we never know quite when we will be rewarded; when we will receive the dividends on our time and effort. But the rewards always come and the uncertainty of their time of arrival only serves to make life more exciting.
In addiction, what we have in our life at the moment is a result of sowing we have been doing until now. If we currently enjoy warm friendships and loving relationships, it is because we have prepared the ground and planted the seed. If our business is currently flowering, it is because we've expended the effort to get the results.
If we talk about others, we'll be talked about. If we speak well of others, they will speak well of us. If we rip people off then we will be ripped off. If we rejoice in the success of others, we will be more likely to enjoy success ourselves. If we tell lies, we will be told lies. If we criticize, we will be criticized. If we love, we will in turn receive love."
Life Skills Manual from Rapid Eye Technology

The Philosopher's Answer

Here is a great parable to demonstrate the principle of perception.

The Philosophers Answer

The story is told of a philosopher who stood at the gate of an ancient city greeting travelers as they entered. One of them questioned him: "What kind of people live in your city?"
The philosopher met the question with a counter question: "What kind of people lived in the city from whence you came?"
"Oh they were very bad people." Answered the traveler. "Cruel, deceitful, devil worshipping."
"That is the kind of people who live in this city,," declared the philosopher.
Another traveler came by and asked the same question, to which the philosopher replied:"What kind of people lived in the city from whence you came?"
"OH they were very good people, answered the second traveler, kind and truthful, and God loving."
The philosopher replied, "That's the kind of people who live in this city."



Perception is, in a nutshell, our beliefs based on our experience. The way we perceive the present day world is based on how our world has been in the past, and the meanings we put on those experiences are based on that perception.

There is no right or wrong in perception. Perception simply is! It is made up of either illusion or reality. Illusion is defined as anything that is temporary in nature, that was thought up by man, and had a perception placed on it. When two people agree on this illusion, it then becomes their reality.

Perception can make whatever picture the mind desires. This is especially important to remember in the way we perceive others.
When ever we judge anyone negatively, we are really judging those aspects in ourselves. It is impossible to see something in someone else unless we perceive it in ourselves on some level of experience. "What we resists persist"

Perception is a mirror not a fact. What we look at is our state of mind, reflected outward.

Taken from the Rapid Eye Life Skills Manual.

Who Is The Master?

I heard a great quote yesterday. I cannot remember who said it or the exact wording but it went something like this: Have mastery over yourself and you master the situation. The idea was that if you have mastery over your feelings and reactions in the situation you have a lot more influence over the out come. In reality we all have very little control over others or situations however we have a lot influence. One of the ways to have the most influence is to master our own feelings and reactions to people and situations. In fact we want to no longer react but respond. Responding is different in that we consider the consequences of our action or attitude and then choose it instead of just going with what the same old thing that comes up for us. When we are mastering ourselves then we can change the old pattern and it then invites the other person to choose a different response. Someone once said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different outcome. Lets vow this week to choose a simple situation we want to change and choose a different response and see what happens. If you like the effect then stay with it if you don't then just choose a different response.

Here are some ideas:

Choose trust instead of suspicion
Choose patience instead of anger
Choose acceptance instead of judgement
Choose love instead of hate
Choose forgiveness instead of holding a grudge

Just observe what happens next and see if you like it!

The Secret To Successful Resolutions

As everyone is diving into their resolutions these last couple weeks I want to address tips on creating success this year.
The real secret to creating positive change is.......aligning the conscious and unconscious mind to the same goal. When you are no longer experiencing resistance from the unconscious mind then change is much much easier. So why does our unconscious mind resist positive change? Our unconscious mind is very set in what has worked in the past and sticking with it. So when we come up with all these wonderful ideas about how to improve our lives and start moving in that direction sometimes the unconscious mind becomes uncomfortable with where we are going and what is going to happen. It is much like trying a new wonderful food for a very, very, very picky eater. They are anxious and resistant to trying something new and would rather stay with something they are familiar with even if everyone around them is telling them that it is the best food ever. They just won't take the chance.
The techniques I use like hypnosis, Rapid Eye and EFT are perfect tools for helping align the conscious goals with the unconscious mind.
You can also use at home self hypnosis, visualisation, positive affirmations and EFT.
When you use these tools it is important that you build up the positive goal in your mind very vividly. Use all of your senses to experience the realization of the goal... such as hearing what you will hear, seeing what you will see, touching something if that applies and any other way you can bring it all to life in your mind.

Some EFT statements you can use would be like:

Even though I have failed every time in the past I now forgive myself for the past and change my direction to success now.
Even though I may be afraid to succeed on some level I choose to move forward and trust my self and embrace change.
Even though I am not quite ready to succeed yet I choose to get ready and let go of the fear and resistant now.

Happy New Year to all and blessings in success this year.

Liesl