Monday, May 2, 2011

10 Negatives Then 1 Positive. Words Affect Our Personal Power.


10 negatives then 1 positive. How many of us express ourselves this way? I have been very aware in my own home how my children interact with each other lately. It is amazing what you notice when you sit back and watch life around you unfold. I have 5 children and 3 are still under 18 and at home. As I have watched them lately I have noticed that the contention between them seems to have increased lately. Maybe it is all of them being either teenagers or close or something else. Whatever it is I have noticed that they say several negative things that are completely unnecessary each and every day. I rarely hear anything at this time positive come out of their mouths. Many times the statement is to point out how wrong someone is and why they are right. I myself try to speak positivity to them when interacting so this trend is really surprising and upsetting me. It makes our home a place that feels unhappy and defensive. However I did notice the other day while driving somewhere with my husband that we both were critical of each other. Each of us feeling defensive and needing to be right. Now I have worked on my need to be right a lot over the years and it is much better. It does seem though that I still have work to do.
I was reading in my teachers manual for Skills for Living this morning and came across a page talking about the power of words. I would like to share it with you. It sure helped me to become more aware of what is coming out of my mouth and how I can teach my children through improving my example.

" What you say is what you get. As our thoughts affect our circumstance, so do the words we say. Our words build our attitude and they determine what we will attract and experience.
]When we get serious about being happy, we stand guard over our mouth. We choose to speak positively about ourselves and avoid running ourselves down. This is not to pretend that we are perfect, but is a part of realizing that you can't feel good about yourself by grizzling about yourself, your job, your friends and family and everyone else about you.
A fellow once said, " I 'm so tired of being miserable and depressed. I am tired of being a burden to my family. I want to be happy! How do I do it? " The first thing you can do is to open your mouth only when you have something positive and constructive to say. You will appreciate the change and so will your family! It is very simple.

When anybody has really, really had enough of being miserable, they change their attitude. They change the way they talk. It takes discipline, it take effort, but it is still very simple. To discipline what we allow ourselves to think and say required us to be different from the crowd. Excellence always does.

Some may adopt the attitude; " I'll do anything to be happier so long as I don't have to change anything about myself. "

Skill for Life Advanced Manual

I was thinking of how this applied to me and my family. My kids don't really talk bad about themselves but it shows it's self more in there need to correct someone when they are wrong. If one of them makes a statement the other is sure is wrong they will engage in a " I know more then you" way of talking. Through their words they have created a competitive and contentious relationship. The words we us to communicate do create our relationships as much as the actions we take. I will think about how I can be better example of speaking positive and also come up with something to help them be aware of their pattern of negative speaking and see if we can change the direction of the communication in our home together. I urge you to look at your relationships and notice your words about it and the words you us to talk to the other person. Are they mean, impatient and judgmental? or are they uplifting, healthy and kind? Which do you want to feed?