Some thoughts on Forgiveness from
"The Forgiveness Formula" by Kathleen Griffin

The Ten Golden Rules of Forgiveness:

1. Forgive and the whole landscape will change.
2. You are the only one who can change-those who have done you wrong have nothing to do with your forgiveness process.
3. You can only forgive when you are ready- it won't work until you are .
4. When you forgive and let go, you change and then the whole world is different.
5. There will always be someone else to forgive, so the better you get at it, the easier life will be.
6. When you forgive the big stuff, you will always have a scar on your heart: that way you won't forget.
7. Sitting on top of the mountain of being in the right is a very lonely place.
8. Think of people you know who can forgive. Now think of those who bear a grudge-which camp would you rather be in?
9. If you can learn to forgive yourself, you are more than halfway there.
10. It is never to late to forgive.


The forgiveness formula:

* It means completely letting go of the hurt this person has done you.
* It means letting go of the hold this narrative has had on your life.
* It means getting rid of a piece of garbage that you will no longer have to carry around with you.
* It does not mean forgetting what has been done to you.
* It does not mean that you do not learn lessons from what happened to you.


This is as inspiring book on how to let go of the pain that we tend to hold onto from trauma in our lives. Forgiveness of others and ourselves helps to lead us to a place of peace and happiness.

I highly recommend reading this book.

Happiness Is A Choice

"If we're unhappy, it's because life is not as we want it. Life is not matching our expectations or how it ought to be and so we're deluding ourselves.
Happiness is a choice. Many people live life as if someday they'll arrive at happiness like one arrives at a bus stop. They figure that someday everything will fall into place, they will finally be happy.
Being happy is not always easy. It can be one of the greatest challenges that we face and can sometimes take all the determination, persistence and self-discipline that we can muster. Maturity means taking responsibility for our own happiness and choosing to concentrate on what we have got rather than on what we haven't.
How often, though, do we do the opposite? How often do we ignore the compliments that are paid to us yet dwell on unkind words for weeks afterwards? If you allow a bad experience or nasty remark to occupy your mind, you will suffer the consequences. Remember, you are in control of your own mind.
Most people remember compliments for a few minutes and insults for years. They become garbage collectors, carrying around trash that was thrown at them twenty years ago. "
Life Skill Manual

I challenge you to shift your focus to the positive things and people that are in your life. Really begin to give energy with your thoughts, feelings and behaviours toward what is good in your life even if it is only one thing. As you give your power and energy to the positive you will notice a shift in your feelings and beliefs. You will begin to spontaneous experience more joy and happiness.

Praciting Mindfulness

Check out a great interview about practicing mindfulness in our day and age. See how mindfulness in related to long practiced meditation and weight loss.

https://www.abc.net.au/rn/healthreport/storied/2003/972729.htm

I really liked this article talking about weight loss and being mindful of your body signals and emotional triggers. In regards to weight loss I teach clients to be mindful of what their body and mind is telling them so they can learn the triggers that lead them to over eat. They can then release those triggers and beliefs so they can eat both healthier foods and portions without all the struggle.


Hope you enjoy!

Creating Balance In Your Life

We all need balance in our lives. If we put all our attention on only one or two things it leaves us lacking in many other areas. If we vary our activities and interest it helps to fulfill our many needs for achievement, recognition, creative expression, spiritual growth and emotional support. Then when one area is not go so well we can lean on the other parts.
Some of the areas we can develop in life are as follows:

Family and Friends.
We are naturally social animals. We need to feel connected and involved with other people. Having strong relationships helps to create an emotional buffer against hard times and stress.

Personal Time.
Everyone needs quite time alone. Time for yourself allows you to reflect on your relationships, your career path, your financial status, your health, and the overall direction of you life.It also allows you to just slow down and take a breath. But remember to have fun in personal time too.

Work
Work outside and inside the home provides a sense of productivity and achievement most people need to feel good about themselves. Participating in professional associations is one way to enhance the quality of you work.

Community Involvement
Pursuing a political cause or helping people with special needs allow you to give something back to the community. There are many ways to get involved in your community and helping others may have a unique payoff. It may help you put your own life in perspective.

Spiritual Involvement
Whether you define it as belief in a higher power, connection to the earth, or simply a moral consistency in what you think, feel and do, spirituality can provide a sense of meaning and purpose in your life beyond your own self. It also provides you with a sence of support outside of the physical world.

Fitness
Many forms of exercise can provide stress management benefits. It releases pleasure-producing hormones, strengthens and relaxes muscles and give you more energy. It can also improve the way you look and feel about yourself.

Food
Balanced meals provide the energy you need to meet the day's physical challenges. Eating a variety of healthy food such as protein, vegetables, fruits and grains helps both our body and mind function much better. Limit caffeine, a stimulant that increases the stress response, and sugar, whose quick energy fix backfires making you more tired and irritable. Eat small meals several times a day.

Pets Keep You In The Pink
They purr, sing, hop, dance, or wag their tails with uncontional joy. Pets can often be the saving grace in face of stress. In fact, they may even lower you blood pressure or decrease your number of doctor visits. They provide us with both emotional connection and a sense of purpose. The unconditional love they give cannot not be mimmicked by any other relationship.

Fun
Don't feel guilty about having fun. Just enjoy yourself. You can justify having fun for fun's sake. It doesn't matter what you choose for fun as long as you enjoy it. It might be puzzels, sports, crafts, cooking, writing or any other acitivity you like to spend time doing. Give yourself permission to just let go and have fun. Bringing humor into stressfull times can also help to balance out your life. Lighten things up and you will feel lighter.

I hope that some of these suggestions will help you to find better balance in your life. Play with some new ideas and activities and see where it might take you.

Men and Women are that they might have joy and happiness.


Adapted from Rapid Eye Technology Life Skills Manual.