This blogs ideas will be taken from a book called Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Change Your Life. By Martin E. P. Seligman , Ph.D.
I highly recommend this book if you like deep clinical type books. It is taking me longer to read than most because it is so clinical. He does do a great job of bringing you in on it though.
Anyway on to the ideas.
It has been a great learning experience for me. I have always thought of myself as pretty optimistic however I have become aware of the pessimism I still hold onto in parts of my life.
In the book Dr Seligman talks about ways to identify whether you hold pessimistic view or optimistic. He has identified 3 different ways that we explain how things happen to us. By looking at these 3 different ways of explaining what happens to us we can identify whether we hold an optimistic or pessimistic view on life.
The 3 things he uses are:
1. Personalization
2. Pervasiveness
3. Permanence
The idea is that if when you explain why an event happened how you explain the why of the event you take the event personal ( I caused it), see it as global ( this ALWAYS happens) and/or it seems permanent to you then you are looking through the glasses of pessimism.
If you see it as caused by outside forces, as specific to that situation or as temporary then you are looking from an optimistic view.
Studies that Dr Seligman sited showed that pessimistic thinking eventually led to depression in people. His belief is that depression can be lessened by becoming conscious of our "explanatory style" and change it to be more optimistic.
EFT lends well to his theory so far. EFT can be used to release and let go of some of the beliefs he talks about in the book. If you find that you are frequently evaluating, either with others or with your self talk things as permanent, personal or global then it is time to change those thoughts to more positive thinking. I have found that the negative thoughts come from negative beliefs about your self that were started long before the present issue.
I will take a basic idea and show you how you could tap on the personal aspect:
This assumes you know the basic tapping of EFT.
If you want to learn more about EFT you can visit the link at the bottom of the post.
Starting on the Karate Chop Point:
Even though I feel like everything is my fault and blame myself, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though I was taught to blame myself for things that just happen, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though I have this habit of thinking I am bad when something bad happens, I deeply completely love and accept myself.
Eyebrow:
It must be my fault cause it happened to me
Side of eye:
I feel like most things are my fault
Under eye:
I must of done something wrong or something bad would not of happened
Under nose:
I was taught to blame myself
Under Mouth:
I feel guilty all the time
Collar bone:
I can't believe it is not my fault
Under arm:
It has to someones fault
Top head:
so it must be my fault
2nd round
Karate Chop:
I choose to begin to accept that not everything I feel guilty about is my fault
It may be possible that I have been taking more responsibility then I need to
I know someone taught me to blame myself but maybe that might not be the truth
Eye brow:
Yes it is important to take responsibility for what I do
Side of the eye:
But I don't need to blame myself for little things that just happen
Under Eye:
I can just learn from the experience without placing blame '
Under nose:
or taking on guilt
Under mouth:
I cannot possibly be completely responsible for every thing that happens to me.
Under Arm:
Other people may sometimes have responsibility for their actions that affect me
Top of head:
So I choose to 2nd guess whether I really was to blame or if I need to take responsibility for what happened.
Karate Chop:
I am letting go of the my blame and guilt pattern now!
Repeat this last phrase 3 times on Karate Chop.
Take 3 deep breaths preferably with your eyes closed and check in with how true it sounds that you are responsible for most everything that happens to you.
Repeat this tapping sequence as needed to relieve blame and guilt patterns.
You could do a similar sequence with the feeling of things being permanent.
Happy Tapping,
Liesl Anderson
To learn more about EFT Visit http://www.emofree.com
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